i've got to make this quick because i have a photo session i'm supposed to be editing but i really feel like i want to get this down. mostly for myself, just as a reminder because i am one that needs reminders A LOT.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly." Proverbs 26:11 (NIV)
i have a lot on my plate a lot of days being work-at-home-mom, among many other roles in my life. as i'm sure many of you know, sometimes it's easy to get lost in the little things and forget about our real purpose: making much of Him. i am really starting realize how much i have added to my plate that gets in my way of that.
the past few weeks, my husband and i have been discussing when we would like to make our family of 3 a family of 4. God willing, of course! most days, i am super excited about growing our little family but somedays, the HARD days, i have my doubts. can i really manage two kids? my friends with large families, i seriously think you are amazing!!
|my babies from when i was a little girl.|
my sweet boy now loves on them for me.
anyway, i know it will be hard, even on "easy" days and that scares me a little. i've known ever since i was a little girl that this is what i was made to do. i carried my babies everywhere and loved on them and cared for them. there still is no doubt in my mind that i want more kids but now that i have one, i know how hard it can be at times.
this afternoon, as i went to put my little guy down for a nap, he decided he didn't want anything to do with it. he did this on sunday too. this is not normal for him but it happens occasionally, as i'm sure it does with most kids. i've been sick and feel weak and drained and just did not feel like fighting this fight. and honestly, a small part of me just wanted to come chill at the computer and not think or do anything but surf the internet.
but you know what, something hit me. i am so stinking lucky to be able to stay home with my son, to have the opportunity to teach him and train him and raise him up to be a little disciple. who cares about my photography, my house, the time-suck that is the internet. i am here for him. to teach him to obey and respect. to make sure he has plenty of sleep and a clean diaper, even if it is a fight sometimes. to make sure he gets healthy food to eat. and i am so thankful for that reminder.
my whole purpose of being here at home while my husband is at work is to raise up our family. nobody said it would be easy. but rotten me, i thought it needed to be easy. maybe because sometimes, it looks easy for everyone else. but really, it's not. everyone else just doesn't talk about how hard it is.
i think it's just about getting my priorities in order (i am a wife and mom and sister in Christ before anything else) and changing my perspective (i am here to teach my kid(s) and raise them up and that is such a joy). if i can just remember why i am here and cut out a lot of those time-sucks that take away my focus from this awesome ministry God has given me, i can really focus on the joy of what i am here to do.